Things I’ve Learnt Over the Last Month Volume V

Ah the 70s. When trousers weren't trousers unless the hems were wider than your hips.
Ah the 70s. When trousers weren’t trousers unless the hems were wider than your hips.

A lot has changed since I wrote my last one of these posts. I’ve completed a degree course…… ok that’s it. But that’s a big one, right? Anyway, here’s a list of subjective opinions that I will force upon you as fact. Like a lecturer.

  • They need to stop rebooting Spiderman. Poor Toby McGuire must feel awful.
  • In a shocking plot twist worthy of Shonda Rhimes, I’ve recently started to enjoy playing football and other sporting endeavours – something that has never really happened before. Coupled with my recent discovery that I no longer find beer retch-inducing, I can only assume that I’m going through some form of late macho puberty, or someone’s been slipping testosterone into my food.
  • As you can imagine, I’m suitably horrified at what seems to be an unavoidable descent into traditional, idiotic masculinity, but I’ve decided to accept my fate. Consequently, I’ve begun dragging my knuckles on the ground while I walk and harassing women in the street. Oi oi, love!
  • Also, I now genuinely enjoy tonic water. What’s all that about?
  • The 70s are coming back into fashion. (See above picture.) The fashion-literate among us have known this for a while now, but this is a PSA for the layperson. You’re welcome.
  • In stark contrast to the wine I’ve become accustomed to, good wine doesn’t burn your throat when you swallow it. The rich really know how to live.
  • 3 years isn’t really a long time.
  • University has been a tremendous experience for me. I don’t have the verbal capacity to fully express what the last 3 years have meant to me, but it’s been great, York. It’s been great.
  • I love Instagram. It feeds my superficial personality.
  • Some things change all the time.
  • Some things never change.
  • It’s great to do things and go to places and meet people and just to be alive.
  • After working so hard for so long on my dissertation, it’s almost worrying how quickly I’ve receded into lazy nothingness. I can’t even remember what it felt like to work.
  • Being able to sing Taylor Swift’s song 22 is the only thing I’m looking forward to about my birthday in 2 months.

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